Dissociation

by Abysmal Chaos

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released March 30, 2016

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Abysmal Chaos Eugene, Oregon

My pain in audible form. Anti-Human.

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Track Name: Comfort in Solitude (Part I)
No one will ever understand
The sorrow I feel trapped inside
Feelings so dark they never seem to end
A constant fall through the tunnels of sadness
The light has dimmed alone I stand with the shadows
Exploring all the hidden parts of my soul
Years spent in silence prove to unveil
The comfort of existing beyond this world

Walking a forested path away from you all
Being as one with the trees, meadows, and streams
Consumed by a mountain of fog and covered in frost
My senses grow numb from the cold and I feel alive
This is a place of my dreams the place I will die
Away from you all, alone, and finally at peace
Track Name: Comfort in Solitude (Part II)
Wandering through a mystical forest
Guided by the blackened moonlight
Led to a cavernous chamber
Where I prepare my soul

Spirits take hold of me, greet me as one of your own
Show me reality, beyond this realm of illusion
Detach me, from this impure form
Dissolve cosmic order
The black sun, Thagirion
Bestow your pure divinity

Grant me the burning ascension
Cleanse my soul with flames
Shatter my former existence
Transform me through the pain

Stranded, I walk alone, in the abyss, of my mind
Tested, by a spiritual force, a beast that dwells within the depths
Formless, this distant world, the sense of self has been erased
Boundless, this primal realm, I ascend into Nothingness
Track Name: Reflections in the Fog
Looking back life was torment
Memories bleak and cold
So much time spent in isolation
With contempt for human life

With the razor I find relief
Hallucinations shifting my perception
On the altar I find my peace
A silent world beyond this cosmic dream

Life is meaningless
Drinking to get through each day
Altered states of consciousness
Dissolve this false reality

Voices whisper my name
Projecting a portal through twilight
Detaching the physical connection
I travel the gateway of seven
Particles gather around me
Transmitting a voiceless echo
A silence - Loud and True
Blinding yet void of light
Track Name: Winds Wept (A Song for Gina)
Left alone, with my thoughts
Sinking into depression
Cutting myself, just to feel
A sense of being alive
Getting closer to the end
Using the razor for comfort

Lost in the tangles of life
Exhausted from human emotion
Feeling I can't go on
Another day in this life
Nothing will ever improve
And relief is only temporary
I cut again, this time deeper
Still nothing changes

Longing for the end
An escape with no return
I wish to live no more
Confused and buried in sadness
Winds wept through forests
As my life slipped away
Track Name: Nothing Heals - Nothing Changes
Life, eternal suffering
Every day the same
Desperate acts of violence
My only escape from this painful world

This cycle will never disown me
These wounds will never fully heal
Harming myself in anguish
The only glimpse of what is real

Constant thoughts of how to end my life
Tree limbs ask me to embrace them
Planting my feet into fertile soil
Becoming one with the forest

A hollow tree will become my home
My legs form into roots
Watching this land for centuries to come
End the contemplation

I open my eyes, rope around the branch
Wishing the vision was real
I leap, but fall, the branch has broken
Why won't this end, why can't I leave this place